Murder Bot Retires, Shaper Origin Takes the Throne
There comes a time in every woodworker’s life when you look at your trusty CNC machine—affectionately nicknamed Murder Bot—and realize it’s less of a partner and more of a liability. Sure, it carved out some decent projects, but it also had the personality of a caffeinated raccoon with a grudge. I previously wrote about Murder Bot’s antics, and I can confirm: the thing had a mind of its own.
So, in the spirit of progress (and self-preservation), I’ve replaced Murder Bot with a shiny new Shaper Origin. Think of it as trading in a chainsaw-wielding robot for a polite, laser-guided butler who actually listens when you say, “Cut here, not through the workbench.”
Now, here’s the part where I need you to keep quiet. I told my wife that I needed the Shaper Origin because I could only do certain things with it. You know, the classic “Honey, it’s an investment in our future” speech. In reality, I probably could have done the joinery by hand if I’d tried hard enough. But why sweat over dovetails when you can let a handheld computer router do the heavy lifting while you sip coffee and pretend to be a precision craftsman?
The Shaper Origin unlocks joinery methods that make me look like I’ve been apprenticing under Japanese master carpenters instead of binge-watching YouTube tutorials. With it, I can now:
• Dovetails – the kind that make people gasp and assume I have infinite patience.
• Mortise and tenon joints – strong enough to survive family gatherings, which is saying something.
• Box joints – perfect for storage projects, or hiding receipts from my latest tool purchases.
• Custom inlays – because nothing says “professional” like unnecessarily fancy flourishes.
Basically, it’s like having a cheat code for woodworking.
Here’s the real danger: once you own a Shaper Origin, you start thinking, Well, now I can build furniture faster… maybe I should sell some pieces to pay for more tools. And before you know it, you’re running a side hustle not to make money, but to fund your next fix at the specialty woodworking store.
It’s a vicious cycle:
1. Buy tool.
2. Justify tool by making project.
3. Sell project to buy more tools.
4. Repeat until garage looks like NASA’s prototype lab.
In fact, just the other night, my wife and I took our adult kids out to dinner. On the way home, she turned to me and said, “You know, if you’re going to keep making all these projects, maybe you should put together a few pieces for the craft sale up north next summer.” I laughed and admitted, “That’s exactly what I was thinking. I could make a handful of objects—maybe some cutting boards, a few small tables, even those custom trays you like.” She smiled, half amused, half resigned, and replied, “Just promise me you won’t buy another tool until you sell at least a few things.” I grinned, knowing full well that the cycle would probably continue, but at least now I had her blessing—and a new reason to get creative in the shop.
Technology in woodworking is supposed to make life easier. Instead, it makes me dream bigger, lie more convincingly to my wife, and spend way too much time explaining to friends why my “handmade” projects now involve a router with Wi-Fi.
But hey, at least Murder Bot is retired. And if the Shaper Origin ever develops a taste for rebellion, I’ll just tell my wife it was her idea to buy it in the first place.
